The Ikea hoarding instinct is still very strong with me. At last count, I had 362 models from Games Workshop's Lord Of The Rings range. Put simply, I have so many that I would never need to use them all in a game. I also purchased a regiment of Warhammer Dwarrow. At the moment, I am having a bit of an internal debate as to which I am going to paint first. I really want to get the Warhammer Dwarrow out of the way so I can free some space on the table. Painting sixteen beards in different styles takes a lot of paint, and a lot of patience. I still remain unsure as to why I bought Warhammer Dwarrow. Maybe in the distant future, I will be able to use them in a game. To be honest, I am not sure why I started to collect Warhammer models in the first place. I must have become dizzy at all the tension that revolves around a game in one of the stores, or something. In any case, I have to decide exactly what I am going to do about this perplexing hobby of mine in the near future. I really do not want to keep doing it, especially with all the logistical model-transporting problems it keeps raising, but I have nothing else to amuse myself with.

I was just recalling how in the mid-1990s, parental groups began some kind of "crusade" against independent music that was not churned out on a factory line like a hypnotic pill, with a particular focus upon bands like Pungent Stench. It just goes to show how pathetically out of focus some normies' priorities are. Around this time, Australia had the highest youth suicide rate in the world (and probably still does for reasons that should be evident to anyone who has read my journal). Teens were literally offing themselves faster than the government could find a way to ignore the problem. I am starting to wonder how many of those who succeeded were simply Aspies who would have to wait another ten to fifteen years for an accurate diagnosis? And in typical Australian fashion, the powers that be here are still determined to pretend the problems do not exist, rather than forumlate anything resembling a proper response. Aspeger's Syndrome is turning into one of those cans of worms that has cases popping up everywhere, and very few locations within the country have the resources to deal with it. What I would like to see happen is at least some kind of resource out there for adults who have been recently diagnosed to actually do something vaguely positive about it.

Last night, I ingested about four Tryptanol pills. I am not entirely certain how big a dose of the active ingredient that amounts to, but considering that I had previously only taken one at a time, and the last dose was months ago, most chemists would tell you it is a lot. Such extreme measures are often the only way to get my body to respond to requests. I woke up this morning feeling so lethargic that I could have honestly slept through the rest of the week. Naturally, when I fell asleep, my computer was still on and connected, so several people tried to message me. I hate it when that happens, because it often feels like I have missed something vital. I honestly do not know what I am going to do when I move (yet again) because my sleep cycle is not, and never has been, conducive to living the business-hour way. There have been dates and times in my life when I have literally been unable to sleep until the sun is coming back up. That is why urbanised places were better for me to live in, because there are businesses that recognise that not everyone is keen on the "work eight hours, sleep eight hours, whatever eight hours" pattern that is being forced down our throats. I would hate to be an ambulance driver or the like in a town where all the businesses shut down at 2100 hours. It would make those working hours between 0000 and 0800 or so impossible to endure.

I finally put a bit of a coat of paint upon my Saruman model. At the moment, my current plan is to paint his robes with a Fortress Grey basecoat, a Skull White coat, and then a drybrush of Bleached Bone, with Bleached Bone on such parts as the strings. The main problem requiring such elaborate plans is that Skull White does not paint well over a Chaos Black undercoat spray. It tends to look very thin and messy, to put it nicely, unless you paint multiple coats. We are talking about six or seven coats of Skull White, which tends to obscure detail and become clumpy. Fortunately, there are very few models with which such a lightening approach is really required. I just wish I could stop arguing with myself about which model to paint next. It gives me no end of headaches having this debate with myself over and over. Every day, I ask myself whether I want to do this or that next, and how I am going to do it, pay for it, or whatever. Occasionally, my brain literally goes into apolexy trying to resolve it. It used to be, at least in the case of models, that a quick consultation of the rulebooks and writing of a list used to quiet such serious internal debates. Not anymore, it seems.

Perhaps the reawakening of this absurd overinterest in the hobby has to do with playing some games in the past few weeks. It is a very vicarious sort of game. During each battle, I at least tend to picture myself in the position of my soldiers. When I have a Dwarf Captain and a few of his soldiers facing off against an Olog-Hai or Cave Troll, I picture myself in the position of the Dwarf Captain. I imagine what I would do if I were in his position. My usual train of thought is to run in and kill my opponent with fervour, but this brings up the question of how I would respond if I really were confronted by something over twelve feet tall, and in possession of a large metallic hammer. I would probably spend a lot of my time scanning the area for anything that could be used as a weapon. There are some warriors profiled in the game who could probably kill half a dozen Cave Trolls with nothing but a fruit knife, but I doubt I would fight that way myself. I would probably prefer to fight from a distance, in much the same way as Legolas or most of the Elves. Put a crossbow in my hands, and we would have a few dead Cave Trolls out there.

Heather gave me this meme thingy to put in my Journal. The idea is that you write twenty random facts about yourself, then you "tag" the same number of people as the number of minutes it took to write these facts out. It took me exactly two minutes to write all these facts out, plus about a minute to add the bold codes. Anyway, I do not understand the tagging thing, so those who have any interest in what I wrote, knock yourself out.

Facts:

01. I am proudly an Aspie! Yay!
02. I like to paint models.
03. I like to photograph models.
04. I like to play battle games with models.
05. I like to build little armies with models.
06. I own a shitload of models.
07. I like to listen to very non-mainstream music while painting models.
08. I currently have sixteen Dwarf models with undercoat drying on them.
09. I also have a backlog of fifty LOTR models left to paint.
10. I listen regularly to the speech of stones.
11. I have a thing about Dwarrow. Cos I am a Dwarf.
12. I greatly admire the works of Robert A. Heinlein.
13. I have considered keeping records of how long I can suffer an ailment that gets ignored.
14. I have drunk detergent before.
15. I went to a school where they had sing-along prayer.
16. I came up with so many piss-take variations on the sing-alongs I could have been a publisher.
17. I used to own a Sega Dreamcast and a Microsoft X-Box.
18. I have almost always been heavily addicted to video games.
19. I own no less than five Resident Evil video games.
20. I have some very strong perservations.

Anyway, this concludes another entry. This is not getting any easier, but I will I close with a quote from Repo Man that should make my present train of thought clear. "Look at 'em. Ordinary fukking people, I hate them.""See, an ordinary person spends his life avoiding tense situations. Repo man spends his life getting into tense situations." Amen, and a life spent fighting imposed instinct is far preferable.